We have all heard that good things take time. We work on things without getting any results for many years, hoping that one day it will bring good things. We all want to have enough patience and determination to keep working on what we believe in. Whether it is for business success or for making a better society or planet, we need to be patient.
But I feel like humans are not very good at delaying gratification, especially in today’s world where we can get gratification instantly. Shopping can be done with one click, anywhere, anytime we want. We can find entertainment just by opening our social media accounts. Of course, we have video games that give a feeling of accomplishment and control.
Our brain is used to getting rewards all the time. How can we work without getting any rewards, hoping that something great will come out of it?
Good things happen to those who can wait
We all know that successful people are those who can delay gratification. We have all seen the Stanford Marshmallow experiments, where children try hard to resist eating a marshmallow placed in front of them, so that they can receive more in the future. Children who can delay gratification are more successful and do better in life, compared to children who couldn’t resist the temptation of satisfying their immediate desire.
Not only professional success, but when we are fighting against climate change or social injustice, we really need to cultivate delayed gratification, since it takes decades to see any change. We just need to keep working, hoping that our actions will create a good impact in the future of the world.
Meanwhile we are bombarded with ads, indicating places where we can get the rush of gratification right now. It’s so easy to forget that we can have a better future if we can wait, but we have a tendency to eat the marshmallow now to get the satisfaction right away, especially when life is stressful and hard.
When change is hard, what can we do?
I still shop for products online that come from the other side of the globe. I binge watch TV series, instead of building relationships with new people. I scroll through devastating news without taking a moment to take action. I don’t take time to get to know people and have a tendency to judge them from their social media contents.
I see many solutions to fix the mind that seeks instant gratifications. People say, we should count small wins to reach bigger goals. Be mindful and live in the present moment. If it’s impossible to change our behaviors on our own, there are retreats where we can be away from the triggers that we constantly encounter in our lives. Those retreats work, but as soon as we are back in our lives, we go back to our bad habits.
I still don’t know how to break out of my bad habits, but the key is not to aim for perfection. Once we can accept our imperfection, it’s easier to do the good things. Sometimes, we are not ready to do the right things. And it’s ok. We wait until we are ready. Sometimes, we don’t have time to do anything but to take care of ourselves. Take time to take care of ourselves, so that we can take care of others in the future.
Living in the fast-paced world, we feel like we need to act immediately, but I found that taking a second before acting on something helps, especially when we have a sudden craving. Some cravings disappear if you wait a little. If we really want something, we will find a way to get it no matter how difficult it is.
So, take a moment and see what’s really important to you.
